6 Ways Helicopter Parents Harm Their Child Instead of Help Them

We all love our parents, one way or another. They gave us this life and helped us become who we are today. At times, they don’t understand us, we think differently and live in a different world than they grew up and lived in. The only thing parents want to do is protect us, but sometimes they end up hurting us instead. My parents were/are strict in certain areas with me, I was not allowed to go to my friends’ houses to hang out because “we don’t know them they could hurt you”. It was a constant battle with my parents about how involved they were in my life and how much they limited certain things for me.

1. They get too involved in their child’s life.

As a child, I never felt like my parents were too involved with my life until I got into high school. I noticed most of my friends were allowed to go out and have fun while I had to ask for permission over and over again just to see my friends outside of school. I know my parents wanted the best for me but I felt like my life was theirs and not mine. It just felt like I was constantly watched and cared for which is not healthy for either of us. My privacy felt invaded most of the time and I just felt uncomfortable.

2. They shelter their children from harsh reality.

My parents always wanted to protect me from everything I encountered. It's great to have parents care for you but there's always a limit to how much is too much. I remember my parents constantly keeping me from seeing or hearing bad things or talking about how bad someone or something is because they read about it on Facebook or it came up on the news. My mom would watch this show called "La Rosa De Guadalupe" and "Como Dice El Dicho". These 2 shows ruined my childhood completely because they scared my mom and had her on the fence about anything that was shown on the TV.

3. They can cause a child to become too fragile.

I was always protected by my parents from anything they considered bad for me. I didn't realize most issues of helicopter parenting until after I graduated from high school and began college. My parents sheltered me too much I was too fragile for my own good. I just always felt hurt in a way or something could easily offend me at any time. At this time I don't consider myself as fragile, I rarely get offended because I don't pay attention to what people say about me. This issue can really hurt someone in the future, someone who is too fragile is more prone to anxiety or depression.

4. They can cause anxiety.

I struggle with anxiety still but I would say the all-time high was in high school. I would bite fingernails and had a lot of stress from being at home with my parents. Anxiety, being fragile, and being depressed were my top issues with helicopter parents. They really harmed me in high school and I felt like I couldn't enjoy those 4 years at all because I was constantly being followed around and watched by my mom. Being at home made me feel anxious at times it was hard to enjoy my free time.

5. Parents can create self-confidence issues.

I had almost 0 self-confidence in high school, I was really shy and felt like the world was out to get me for some reason. I had many issues with my body and was very self-conscious about it. That began the journey of wanting to be dressed really well at school and look cool. This can really impact someone, many people see their body as ugly but not everyone is built like Superman or Kim Kardashian. My parents always expected 100% from me, so I feared failure and began to feel like I wasn't good enough for having a B or C at school.

6. Depression can also be created by the parents.

I would say my junior year of high school was when I began having symptoms of depression. It wasn't bad until my senior year I really knew I was suffering from depression. I believe the build-up from anxiety, the body image issues, the feeling of not being enough, and all those issues caused me to go through depression. I love my parents so much despite everything that's happened but I felt like a waste. Constantly fearing failure and wishing I was doing better in school so my parents would be proud. Depression is a serious issue that could lead to self-harm, and parents could be the cause of it for some people.

7. Constantly feeling worthless.

My parents are from Culiacán, Sinaloa; which is in Mexico. They grew up in bad conditions because of the economy and other factors, but they made it to the U.S. and accomplished amazing things. They always told me they lived in worse conditions and did so much for themselves I felt like they were trying to compete with me at times. I know they want the best for me but communication goes a long way. I felt like I wasn't enough for them because I wasn't getting A's or B's in school. I misbehaved at times which also made me feel like I was a burden more than a son.

Conclusion

It might be difficult to let your child go but eventually, they will grow up. Parents may believe this style of parenting is beneficial, but it causes a lot more issues for the child. All the effects of parenting this way can hurt the child more than help them. Depression, anxiety, confidence issues, and many more issues prevent children from living a healthy life before adulthood. This parenting style extends to adult life. The importance of this topic is huge, these children are the future. Holding back your child or children will hurt them a lot more than benefit them in the long run. What are the long-term effects of helicopter parenting in adults 18-21 years old?

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