In my experience of interacting with men, I have made several observations on how their view of mental health generally differs from that of a woman’s. Of course, not all men are the same and some may be more comfortable with discussing mental health than others, however for many men this is not the case. This led me to ask how the traditional social expectations of men have affected male mental health. I often wonder how the traditional expectation of what a man should be hinders men from admitting they are not doing well, both mentally and physically. With baffling statistics on male suicide rates, substance abuse, and cases of depression, this ought to be something discussed and researched.
From many conversations I have had with men, whether it be friends, brothers, boyfriends, or my dad, I heard that many if not a majority of their friendships revolve around activity and enjoying themselves together, often lacking in emotional depth. How they are doing mentally is simply not a topic of conversation for most of their friendships. Many men have told me that many do not know how to talk about their feelings or even feel uncomfortable doing so with their male friends. By talking about mental well being, it is generally associated with weakness or vulnerability: something that counters what a traditional man ought to look like.
Due to the lack of emotional vulnerability within many male friendships, many men admit that they feel more comfortable discussing their mental health with women or their significant others as opposed to male friends. With my closer relationships with males, I have noticed that men are far more willing to listen to me discuss how I am feeling instead of them sharing how they are feeling. Many admit that they do not know how to fully discuss their mental health. In my experience, in order for them to feel comfortable enough to share with me, there must be an established trust and assurance of confidentiality.
I had come across shocking statistics about male mental health before and it broke my heart to see that male suicide rates and tendencies towards substance abuse are significantly higher than that of women's. Seeing this play out in some family friends' lives is devastating to see. It is incredibly important that access to help for men specifically improves. Hopefully through further research and education, more men will be able to experience more positive social relationships with other men and will be able to move beyond traditionally dominant ideals of masculinity in seeking help.
The traditional social expectation of what a man ought to be can be problematic because many are taught and expected to restrict emotions to demonstrate strength due to their leadership roles within a home or in a workplace. It is important to improve access to help, whether it be through through friends or mental health services, in order to avoid internalizing. The effects of internalizing mental health struggles have the potential to be incredibly dangerous to men's health and to those in relationship to them. Studying gender differences and sex roles may be able to study how society’s traditional expectation of men has affected males' approach to mental health.
Internalizing negative feelings has serious impacts on men's relationships with others because many men feel as though they must deal with their emotions independently of others, causing them to isolate. This can create unhealthy distance in many relationships. Another common result of internalizing emotions can lead to externalizing behavior that can often be dangerous and reckless. Additionally, many men often turn to drugs or alcohol to numb the pain they are experiencing. This too is incredibly detrimental to themselves and to their relationships with others. Further research should be conducted by psychologists and friendship experts to encourage discussion and improvement of men's mental health literacy.
I have heard from many of my male relationships that it would be seen as embarrassing or humiliating to seek help or counseling for mental health issues and that if they did need to seek help they would not admit it to their male friends. Research on how to promote a more positive view on seeking help in addition to education on how getting help or treatment does not jeopardize one’s masculinity may be beneficial to men who are unsure of asking for help due to it being a traditionally taboo topic. Additionally, personal anecdotes from men may be helpful in encouraging other men to pursue further help if necessary.
Men play a huge role within their respective communities, whether it be in the workplace, in their families, or in other community engagemts. Neglecting men's mental health heavily impacts their families, colleagues, friends, and themselves. If access to help improves and if there is a greater support for men of differing sexualities, backgrounds, ethnicities, and social classes, relationships and environments have great potential to improve. Sociologists and anthropologists may be able to research how to target varying kinds of masculinities and identify ways that access to mental health can be more personalized.
With tragic statistics on higher male suicide rates, substance abuse, and cases of depression, it should be a great priority of ours to encourage men to seek help whether it be from a close network of friends, family, or seeking treatment. Research and education may be useful and necessary to encourage men to move beyond the stereotypical notion that society expects men to be strong and that admittance of mental health issues is seen as weakness. Though not all men are the same and there are several variations and definitions of what masculinity is, improvement on treating men in their emotional and mental struggles should be considered and pursued through research and education on this matter.
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