In my experience of interacting with men, I have made several observations on how their view of mental health generally differs from that of a woman’s. Of course, not all men are the same and some may be more comfortable discussing mental health than others, however for many men this is not the case. This led me to ask how the traditional social expectations of men have affected male mental health. I often wonder how the traditional expectation of what a man should be hinders men from admitting they are not doing well, both mentally and physically. With baffling statistics on male suicide rates, substance abuse, and cases of depression, this ought to be something discussed and researched.
From many conversations I have had with men, whether it be friends, brothers, boyfriends, or my dad, I heard that many if not a majority of their friendships revolve around activity and enjoying themselves together, often lacking in emotional depth. How they are doing mentally is simply not a topic of conversation for most of their friendships. Many men have told me that many do not know how to talk about their feelings or even feel uncomfortable doing so with their male friends. By talking about mental well being, it is generally associated with weakness or vulnerability: something that counters what a traditional man ought to look like.
Due to the lack of emotional vulnerability within many male friendships, many men admit that they feel more comfortable discussing their mental health with women or their significant others as opposed to other men. With my closer relationships with males, I have noticed that men are far more willing to listen to me discuss how I am feeling instead of them sharing how they are feeling. In my experience, in order for them to feel comfortable enough to share with me, there must be an established trust and assurance of confidentiality.
I enjoy all the various types of relationships that I have with men, yet it saddens me that men can tend to suppress their emotions or deal with them independently of others, feeling as though they cannot ask for help. Due to the ideal of patriarchal masculinity, admittance of unhappiness or pain is seen as weakness by other men and can deter men from sharing the more intimate details of their lives. Hopefully through further research and education, more men will be able to experience more positive social relationships with other men and will be able to move beyond traditionally dominant ideals of masculinity in seeking help.
Though there is no such thing as uniform masculinity because masculinity differs between social classes, sexualities, ethnicities, and cultures, I would argue that the traditional hegemonic man would appear more dominant and generally more socially accepted. This traditional stereotype of what a man ought to be can be problematic because such a man is often taught and expected to restrict emotions to demonstrate strength due to their leadership roles within a home or in a workplace. Sociologists or anthropologists may be able to study how society’s traditional expectation of men has affected males' approach to mental health within varying types of masculinity.
Generally, I have noticed that men tend to gravitate towards instrumental support as opposed to emotional support. It is more natural for men to support each other in more tangible and physical ways instead of being vulnerable with each other and pursuing emotional relationships with other men. Many men have the desire to discuss their feelings with others, but may not know how to do so. Studying historical gender differences and sex roles may be helpful in determining why men feel uncomfortable sharing intimate details with other men and why historically men have felt the need to restrict their emotions to appear strong.
I have heard from many of my male relationships that it would be seen as embarrassing or humiliating to seek help or counseling for mental health issues and that if they did need to seek help they would not admit it to their male friends. Research on how to promote a more positive view on seeking help in addition to education on how getting help or treatment does not jeopardize one’s masculinity may be beneficial to men who are unsure of asking for help due to it being a traditionally taboo topic. Additionally, personal anecdotes from men may be helpful in encouraging other men to pursue further help if necessary.
Close social relationships are generally seen as beneficial and supportive to one's well-being. Having one or a few close acquaintances that you trust and can confide in is healthy and a good thing. In my observation, men desire an established trust and assurance of confidentiality because many fear humiliation if their trust is betrayed. Encouragement of healthy male friendships that are positive, open to many kinds of masculinity, and include a willingness to learn to share and listen to each other may be incredibly beneficial. Psychologists and friendship experts may be able to study and further promote healthy social relationships between men.
With tragic statistics on higher male suicide rates, substance abuse, and cases of depression, it should be a great priority of ours to encourage men to seek help whether it be from a close network of friends, family, or seeking treatment. Research and education may be useful and necessary to encourage men to move beyond the stereotypical notion that society expects men to be strong and that admittance of mental health issues is seen as weakness. Though not all men are the same and there are several variations and definitions of what masculinity is, improvement on treating men in their emotional and mental struggles should be considered and pursued through research and education on this matter.
Word count: 1012
Error count: 6
Error density: 1%